yay! I’M FINALLY DONE WITH MY FINALS!

 

1.       God is amazing and helped me get all of my projects done ( I had 3 projects/papers due wednesday) and complete an essay final. All essay people, 5 questions!!!! It literally took me 4 hours to complete, and that’s not including study time or time to go over the study questions.  4 hours! Be glad that you are not in school. (sidenote: did you ever notice that studying is “student” and “dying” put together..yeah)

 

2.       I FINALLY got a haircut. I’m a poor college student, so I only get my hair cut and higlighted maybe twice a year becuase I just can’t afford it right now. And I had at least 3 inches of split ends. ha, ha It was bad. So I asked to get my hair cut and highlighted for a birthday present and my mommy paid for it for me. Yay!!!  So now I have healthy pretty hair again! Heck yes!

 

3.       Emily Monts De Oca ran 3.1 miles. Go give her some love! http://emilythestrange.wordpress.com/ Cause that is freakin amazing! I don’t know how she accomplished that goal so fast, but my hat is off to her, cause that is some tough stuff. I am workin on running two miles.

 

4.       I rediscovered my love for Christmas songs mostly because of  Travis Thompson http://blueroomworthy.com/ and his desire to make a list of Christmas songs.  I love the way Don Henley sings “Please come home for Christmas” and surpisingly I love the way Mariah Carey sings “All I want for Christmas is you”. Those have been the two huge ones this week.

 

5.       I put Christmas songs and a Christmas layout on my MySpace page. I was very proud of myself. ha, ha

 

6.       I got to go to Longhorn steakhouse to celebrate me finishing my finals! Heck yes! T hey have the most amazing chicken tenders , French fries, veggies, and ranch dressing I have ever tasted! Literally! It was so good that I ate way too much! And I had leftovers today! Even better!

7. My birthday is next week! Oh yes, I am a Christmas baby. It is December 19th, 6 magical days before Christmas! And kudos to my mom for always making sure that I never got jipped when it came to presents. She never said “this is for your birthday and Christmas” ha, ha  Good times!

 

What did you do this week?

(sigh) this is hard

Okay so I was thinking about this today and you probably already know this, but I’m curious about your thoughts just the same.

I realized that I have a super hard time not making guys the center of my life. It’s like when I was younger my mom and I used to watch movies and she would point out the guys that had “bad intentions” in her attempt to help me learn to be smart about guys and not fall for their “smooth talking”. She was trying to help me.

but instead it gave me the impression that all guys wanted is sex and yes this is true part of the time and it’s important for girls to be aware of that so they don’t fall for the whole “if you love me, you’ll do this” line  but that’s not all there is to guys.Is there? And I think that sometimes in the back of my mind, that’s what I think.

and I’m constantly in this struggle between trying to be single and convincing myself not to revolve myself around a guy and to be independent and it seems like the best way for me to do that or to cope with being single is to assume that guys aren’t as great as they seem. To assume that they have alterior motives.

I guess I think that if they really are that great, then how could I possibly live without them.

and what confuses me more is how do I find a happy medium between being independent and not revolving my life around guys but around God; and at the same time, having the correct and true understanding of who guys are and that not all of them just want sex. How do I happily live alone and yet still believe that there are amazing guys out there. And what does that look like in everyday life?

does that make sense? I feel like I”m talking in circles and not explaining what I mean correctly.

I’m just really struggling with this. There are a few different guys that I”m interested in; and  I noticed when guys talk to me, like really see me and like me for who I am, it’s like crack. I’m on this high and feel so good, it’s like “today was an awesome day”. But when guys don’t acknowledge me or don’t call me or text me for weeks, I feel that somehow my value to them or in general has decreased and I must be doing something wrong. I’m not good enough anymore or I’m not as important as I used to be.

and then something else occured to me, what if I’m not what a good christian girl is supposed to be? What if I’m giving off the wrong signals. I mean I joke around with my friends and try to be down to earth and sometimes we have major toilet humor and I was like “wow, how do other people see that?” Should I care? should I not care?

I want to know how to protect myself from being used or being hurt yet at the same time keep an open mind for when the right guy finally comes along. I just wish I had a black and white list of everything I”m doing wrong and what I should be doing right.

your thoughts?

This is exactly how I feel.

Here’s the other song that I love, “Teardrops on my guitar”.

Teardrops on my Guitar
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see
That I want and I’m needing everything that we should be
I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she’s got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it’s just so damn funny
That I can’t even see anyone when he’s with me
He says he’s so in love, he’s finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can’t breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She’d better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she’s lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I’ll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart
He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do
He’s the time taken up, but there’s never enough
And he’s all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see

so good

I’ve become a pretty big Taylor Swift fan latley. I love that song, “hes the reason for the teardrops on my guitar” because I feel that way a lot. One of my friends told me to watch her new music video “love story” and it was so good. I’m putting the lyrics below. The second to last paragraph perfectly describes what it’s like to wait forever for the right person and be afraid that you are never going to meet. Sometimes it’s so hard to be patient for something like that.

“We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I’m standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet.”
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, ‘Please, don’t go.’”

And I said,
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’”

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet ’cause we’re dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
‘Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “Stay away from Juliet,”
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, ‘Please, don’t go,’”

And I said,
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’

Romeo save me – they’re tryin’ to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it’s real.
Don’t be afraid; we’ll make it out of this mess.
It’s a life story – baby just say “Yes.’”

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin’ around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
“Romeo save me – I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don’t know what to think-”

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
“Marry me, Juliet – you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad – go pick out a white dress;
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’”

Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you…”

Hmmm….

My friend sent me an e-mail that had this list in it and it seemed to come at the perfect time. One of my friends is struggling wtih something and when I was talking with them, they said almost every single one of the statements on the left.  It just goes to show that God’s not suprised by the struggles we face and He’s already prepared. He already knows what to say before it even happens. that’s awesome.

YOU SAY	GOD SAYS	BIBLE VERSES
You say: ‘It’s impossible’	God says: All things are possible	(Luke 18:27)
You say: ‘I’m too tired’	God says: I will give you rest	(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: ‘Nobody really loves me’	God says: I love you	(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: ‘I can’t go on’	God says: My grace is sufficient	(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: ‘I can’t figure things out’	God says: I will direct your steps	(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: ‘I can’t do it’	God says: You can do all things	(Philippians 4:13)
You say: ‘I’m not able’	God says: I am able	(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: ‘It’s not worth it’	God says: It will be worth it	(Roman 8:28 )
You say: ‘I can’t forgive myself’	God says: I Forgive you	(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: ‘I can’t manage’	God says: I will supply all your needs	(Philippians 4:19)
You say: ‘I’m afraid’	God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear	(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: ‘I’m always worried and frustrated’	God says: Cast all your cares on ME	(I Peter 5:7)
You say: ‘I’m not smart enough’	God says: I give you wisdom	(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: ‘I feel all alone’	God says: I will never leave you or forsake you	(Hebrews 13:5)

Great Song

I was listening to this song this morning, and I’ve heard it before, but never really thought about the words. It’s pretty awesome and super encouraging. I know that this time of year, things get crazy, stores get packed, people get stressed and money gets tight, so take a few minutes to read this and “be still and know that He is God”.

Hope that you have a great day!

This is “hold fast” by MercyMe.

To everyone who’s hurting
To those who’ve had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us

Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He’s come to save the day
What I’ve learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass
Can we stop this ride
Will we see the sun at last
Or could this be our lot in life

Please do not let go
I promise you there’s hope

CHORUS

Bridge
You may think you’re all alone
And there’s no way that anyone could know
What you’re going through

But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth

The truth of what we’re soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone

All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity Lord
Here He comes

God is real and I am a loser.

these are two things that I’ve come to realize more than ever the past few days. Allow me to explain.

1. God is real.

God has been blessing me a lot lately and I honestly don’t know why, b/c I definitely don’t deserve it and sometimes I would even be focusing on the bad so much that I almost missed it. As you know I am a poor college student who seriously needs to read some books by Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) b/c I’m having all kinds of problems getting a budget and keeping a budget. And I prayed the other day, “God please just help me to have enough money for everything.” Well I didn’t win the lottery but I was pleasantly surprised when I got paid at work, and I wasn’t expecting to get paid that week.

And then later that day I went to lunch with a friend for some delicious chinese food, which I didn’t really have the money for, but it was one of the days where we needed to talk, so I figured it would be alright and my friend ended up paying for my lunch.  How freakin awesome is that?  So not only did God give me money I wasn’t expected, He gave me a free lunch too.

More Proof:

Yesterday was a crazy day. I have gotten another job tutoring children in the ACES tutoring program. It’s pretty awesome, you only work a few hours a week and you get paid pretty well. Long story short, there is deadline that you have to meet for your first tutoring session, it has to be done by October 15th, so for one of my kids, I had to do a “pre-tutoring” session on Tuesday to meet the deadline.  On top of that, I had to drive all the way to the school (PCC/USF lakeland campus) to use the internet to complete an assignment for my class at 5:00). Then I had to drive back to Winter Haven to tutor the child.   So I get done with my assignment and I go home and get some food and I’m leaving the house and….the car wont’ start.  The key will turn but no sound…..nada. So I go to my next door neighbor and politely ask if she can give me a jump. Yeah…nothing, it didn’t work. So I’m freaking out and I call my mom and she comes to the house and gives me a jump. We go to the mechanic. (I’m scared to death, I’m almost positive that the alternator is ca-put and I’m gonna have leave a liver on deposit b/c I have no money right now) So we get to the mechanic and everything is fine. The battery is fine, the alternator is fine.  EVERYTHING IS FINE!  I, being the incredibly smart person that I am, left the lights on at the house for an hour and it ran the battery down. That’s all. ha, ha

Yeah, so God is good!  And I am a loser for leaving my lights on. And I”m also a loser for being mean to my mom when I was stressed out about tutoring and going to class and my car having a heart-attack. So I am sorry mom.  : (

Good times.

random

Do you guys remember that show “3rd Rock from the Sun” ?  I used to love that show and it started coming on the ‘tv land’ channel all of the sudden. So I’ve been watching it lately and in one of the episodes, the whole gang is singing the theme song from the show ‘friends’ and I started thinking “what are the real lyrics to that song”. Of all the years I’ve watched that show I’ve never looked it up. So I  decided to look them up today. Yay for Google!

So here ya go, feel free to sing along. Have a great day : D

I’ll Be There for You by the Rembrandts – Friends Lyrics

So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, you’re love life’s DOA.
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too.

You’re still in bed at ten, the work began at eight.
You’ve burned your breakfast, so far, things are going great.
Your mother warned you there’d be days like these,
But she didn’t tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees.

That, I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too.

No one could ever know me, no one could ever see me.
Seems like you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me.
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with,
Someone I’ll always laugh with, even at my worst, I’m best with you.

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too.

http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/friendslyrics.html

positive post tuesday

This post goes to Emily  Grice (http://emilygrrrice.wordpress.com/) for being super honest about her not so enthusiastic enjoyment of reading the bible.  She says that she doesnt’ like to read it because she knows that she “has to”. ha, ha I hear ya Emily, it’s hard for me too. Most of the time, I find myself looking at the bible right before I go to bed thinking “but I’m too tired, can’t I just read it tomorrow? I still remember the sermon from Sunday.” ha, ha. Emily is challenging herself to start reading the bible more, by setting her own terms.  I think that’s awesome!  Sometimes that’s all it takes is setting your own goals and doing things your way, not in competition with anyone else or trying to please or impress anyone else, just being able to do something for you. So Kudos to you Emily! This positive post goes to you!

Positive Post Tuesday

I know it’s a little late, but here is my positive post for Tuesday. My very first positive post is dedicated to my mom. I know…awwwwwwwww…..

She is my rock, she is the one who keeps me calm when I feel like the seas of life are about to crash on my head, when the kids at work are mean to me, and when I’ve had so much school, I would be happy not to pick up another book for the rest of my life. ha, ha This one goes to my mom. For being there for me for our  2 am morning conversations when we are both dead tired and she still has to get up at 7:30 to go to work, but she thinks talking to me is more important than sleep.  And because she puts up with me, when I’m tired or stressed or PMSing (that’s right I said it PMSing) and doesn’t yell or get mad, but just loves me unconditionally.

It reminds me of this skit I saw when I was in my old youth group. It was about this teenager who felt like no one loved them. They were getting pressured and yelled at from everyone, their basketball coach, their teachers, their parents,everyone! So they started drinking and partying all the time and when Jesus walks up to the kid, the kids says “so what do you want? What are you gonna do when I start getting bad grades?  What are you gonna do when I miss the field goal? What are you gonna do w hen I come home late or dissappoint you? Huh? What are you gonna do? and this whole time the kid is just pushing Jesus really hard. and Finally Jesus just hugs the kid as tight as He can. That’s what He’s gonna do, He’s gonna wait right there, where you left him, to hug you and comfort you with his arms open wide and He’s gonna love you anyway! That’s what my mom does for me. So this one goes to her!

 

I love you mommy! You are like the Best Mom in the Whole World! (she loves it when I say that)